What are we willing to give our dogs?

So often we bring dogs into our lives and we have high expectations of how things will go and who we want the dog to be. What having this dog will say about us to the rest of the world. To be quite honest what happens is that humans get dogs and they want to take from that dog. They want the dog to bend to a human world. They want the dog to do what they say no matter what. What I want to challenge today is that when we bring dogs into our lives and we literally own them, we are completely responsible for everything about them. We need to remind ourselves that this should be a two-way street. It’s not bringing a dog into our lives and taking from them, it’s bringing a dog into our lives and being willing to give to them what they need from us. Even when it is hard and inconvenient. 

There’s no doubt that there is a huge spectrum of personality and behavior traits in dogs. All dogs are individuals for sure. In fact I think that a lot of dogs are more different from each other than you might think and because of this when a dog doesn’t fit into the traditional model of what we think a dog should be, what society has been jamming down our throats about believing a dog should be, we meet a crossroads. A  crossroads where we can take the easy route and we can compromise the dog's well-being, put our priorities first, use training methods that are not nice and come at the expense of the dog. Or we can choose a different path. We can choose a path in which we see the dog for who they truly are. We are open to learning and growing alongside this dog and when you choose that path, a lot of beautiful things start to happen.

We start to realize that by being patient, by being understanding of our dogs and who they are and how they feel about certain things. That we’re able to model that same patience, and understanding for ourselves, and for the other humans in our lives and not only does this approach improve the quality of life for our dogs and for us, but I believe that there’s a much larger ripple effect that happens. I’ve spent the last 13 years implementing everything that I mentioned about choosing a certain path when it comes to bringing a dog into your life. I’ve owned a lot of complicated dogs in my life. I’ve worked with thousands of complicated dogs and their people and I’ll tell you what, the path that I’m suggesting might not be a shortcut but it’s a path that is going to lead you far beyond dog training.  It’s going to lead you to a more enriched and deep version of your life and your relationship with your dog. 

I call myself a dog trainer but when I reflect, I think I’m more of a people coach. I’m more of a dog coach, a dog owner life coach and I’m cool with that. I want to give my clients practical tools, but I also have to challenge the status quo of what their expectations are of a dog. To be kind but firm when it comes to addressing outrageous expectations, and trying to take shortcuts that compromise animal welfare to get to a human version of success. What I do is far beyond what textbook dog training is, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When we bring dogs into our lives, if we can genuinely think to ourselves, what can I give to this dog? What can I give to this dog that they genuinely need? It is going to be a beautiful beginning, it does not save us from the roller coaster of behavior and challenges that come with living with a complicated dog, but when we start with the question of what can I give this dog, it starts you on a path that is going to be so beautiful and so gratifying. I honestly believe that it will radicalize you into becoming an advocate for dogs, becoming an advocate for understanding who dogs are, what they need and how to train them with kindness, patience and humility.

So now I invite you to ask yourself, what can you give to your dog and what can you be open to receiving from them during your journey together?

- Rachel Laurie Harris, CPDT-KA